More on Worrying

The article I wrote on "Imagining the Worst" has been well received. I think it has struck a nerve with many people as we are all worried about the economy and our own financial well being. I've reworked my original article with additional information and thoughts. You can also find it on: http://groovybabyblog.blogspot.com

I recently saw an article about the benefits of not worrying. Not worrying has been something I've worried about for several years. I spent many, many years in knots over money, relationships, pregnancy, interior decorating, siblings, unemployment and more. I had entire conversations with myself about how terrible things were and how they were bound to spiral into catastrophic depths. I imagined bankruptcy, death, firestorms and irreversible choices of kitchen paint colors. I would talk myself into any disaster.

Recently, I've realized that what I imagine is usually much worse that what actually happens.In other words, all the energy I wasted playing horrific imaginary scenes in my head, was just that, wasted energy. That energy could of been placed towards actively working to solve my problems, while still enjoying the present moment. I spent hours using energy, creating stress and feeling bad about events that hadn't happened, and probably never would. What a waste of time! Author, Eckhart Tolle said, "Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose."

In fact, worrying creates stress which can manifest itself in many damaging ways. For myself, worrying caused impatience with my children and husband, a constant sense of anxiety, and even health issues like dizziness and tiredness. Worst of all, worrying and stress are the ultimate cause of aging - creating frown lines, crows feet, bad skin and more. All the expensive face creams and anti-aging concoctions in the world can't, suppress the wrinkly results of stress.

Time is what it took to retrain my brain. Shutting off those bad thoughts was a great effort, and continues to be. I exercise my brain, when I feel worried or stress, by forcing myself to focus on the moment and talking myself through whatever I'm worrying about. For example, with three children, I'm always striving to get somewhere on time - school, soccer, music class, etc. When I feel the worry creeping up to choke me, I take deep breathes and remember that everything will be fine. What is, is. Nearly 100% of the time, by the time I arrive to my destination, I feel better, I'm not yelling at my kids, and no one has even noticed that I'm a little late, because they are too.

Give Yourself A Time-Out

I always find myself counting to my kids… “1…2…” Usually by 2, the one who’s been threatened with a time out, says irritably “okay, okay, Jeeeezzzzz mom.” I don’t understand why they think a time out is so terrible. I would love a time out. As soon as someone got to “one,” I’d be ready to go. “Yippee! I get a time out!"  It would be great replying to my kids with“you don’t like tonight’s dinner? Fine, I'm going to time-out!” or “You’re going to throw a tantrum because you can’t watch more Zac and Cody? Great, give me a time out.”

Time-out for grown ups are actually a very good idea. Research shows that just three minutes of an adult time-out can seriously lower stress, boost your mood and improve your mind. Try this (as recommended by UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center (marc.ucla.edu):

~ In a quiet room, stand, sit upright, or lie in a comfortable place.

~ Close your eyes and notice what’s happening in your body. Do you feel agitated, stressed, etc.

~ Breathe slowly and deeply for a minute. Don’t worry about thoughts that may be drifting in your mind – that’s normal.

~ Listen to the sounds around you. Notice the silences and breathe.

On The Cover of A Magazine

I'm a proud mama today. My kids are pictured on the cover of the Central Coast Family Newspaper.  It's a really great local paper that includes useful information for local families and businesses. Thank you to Mary Kelting for taking the photo and Stephanie Shehan, the Editor for choosing our photo.

Imagining the Worst

I recently saw an article about the benefits of not worrying. Not worrying has been something I've worried about for several years. I spent many, many years in knots over money, relationships, pregnancy, interior decorating, siblings,  unemployment and more. I had entire conversations with myself about how terrible things were and how they were bound to spiral into catastrophic depths. I imagined bankruptcy, death, firestorms and irreversible choices of kitchen paint colors. I would talk myself into any disaster. 

Finally, about two years ago, I read Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth." One thing Tolle said that really stuck in my brain was that in essence, what you imagine is usually worse that what will actually happen. Imagine that! I spent hours using energy, creating stress and feeling bad about events that hadn't happened, and probably never would. What a waste of time! 

Time is what it took to retrain my brain. Shutting off those bad thoughts was a great effort, and continues to be. However, without a doubt, I feel freer. A weight has been lifted. The weight of worry. My mom always said "things usually work out for the best." Of course, she was right. Moms always are.